penny foolish pound wise

Unibrows ? ughh ! They suckk!!

-Neelesh Chandola

You’d surely have , at times , seen a few odd looking creatures with a straight bold black horizontal line tangent to their eyes. Okayy that isn’t an underscore , the sane world calls it a UNIBROW .
The word ‘unibrow’ has originated from two Latin words –
‘Unic’ (meaning one, or singular ) and ‘browus’ (meaning piece of shit )
* note – not to be searched up on the internet , you’re likely to make a fool of yourself  .

These things aren’t aliens, as you may firsthand presume. Instead , let us just call them specially abled people with shitty forehead margins  that turn into a real problem when it comes to Indian women because they can’t find space to put their ‘bindi’ on.

I kinda ‘HATE’ unibrows . They look awful . I myself , am 2/11 th of a unibrow and don’t rally expect anyone to actually calculate that up because such people don’t usually visit this place .
Let me give the game away then , that number , when calculated , makes 18.1818% . So I’m THISANDTHISMUCH percentage of a unibrow and that trifle number isn’t worth bothering.
Imagine the embarrassment  of having a line segment (that too , a dark one) on your forehead 24 x 7 x 366 in a leap year , like the one Kunal Ganjawala has , which grows relentlessly by the minute  and by the end of the day grows to the size of Texas , or Jabalpur .

The Bottomline is –

“WHY HAVE ONE , WHEN YOU CAN HAVE TWO ? “

They’re weird , they’re gross and I’d never share my food with someone owning a unibrow. Not because I think that unibrowism are contagious , but because I don’t share food with anyone.
‘Uni-pin’ is my favourite drawing pen , but uni-brow ? come on bro! cut that into halves , run a road-roller over it , break it into two , have it picked , paint it up , have it eaten up , do whatsoever suits you best but for the love of the lord , get rid of that shit there .

Now , to talk jargon , it is called a ‘Synophrys’ in medicine .
You wouldn’t have  planned on that being about science so SORRY .Sorry for talking sense , I’ll pick it up anyways .

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In manuscripts , it has been mentioned that the unibrowed person has ” the Sygne of the grave yes he ys vnstedfaste and hontehthe far and comethe good meates and drinkes nor he will not depart yt he maye “

Got it ?
No worries there because that thing sounded as much derstandable to me as it did to you .
The speaker seems to have been  chewing a chewing-gum alongwith blowing Shakespeare’s one-eyed monster . Still it is pretty much evident the manuscript seems to be chastising someone. This much can be figured out if you’re as smart as I am.

Thomas Hill in ‘The Contemplation of Mankind’ decribes men with unibrows as sometimes thieves , ravishers of maidens , murderers but always deceivers .

“when the overbrowes appeare thickeof heares , and so plentiful of aboundant ,that these doe discende to the beginning of the nose , and appear through the same whole formed togither : doe then signife great adustion : and such having like overbrowes, are melancholike , and of an evill nature…wicked persons..”
and blah and blah and blah ..whatever the fug that means anyways.”

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So I sought reference and now what I know of what I didn’t know earlier is that there are still other kinds of brows , Beetle brows ,straight brows , red brows , hanging brows and what not bros.

P.S.- what did an Indian unibrowed husband say to his unibrowed wife ?
Hum do , hamare do(eyebrows) ! Bwahahahahahah!!!

© 2017, thenullstreet. All rights reserved.

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